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Dante is sick =(. I first noticed it yesterday when my tuxedo baby wasn't being her usual self and destroying the entire house. I walked up to her and noticed disgusting yellow BOOGIES all over her nostrils and the tip of her mouth. I cleaned up her nose a bit with moistened Q tips and fed her and gave her water with an oral syringe since she didn't want to do either on her own. The vet was closed -- but I figured she would be okay to be looked at today. Fast forward to today. I get her an appointment for today at 1 pm. I parked the car and didn't even bother paying the meter (hence the 35$ ticket I later on acquired, LOL). My Dante ended up on antibiotics and a bunch of blood work was taken from her. I get most of the results back tomorrow and the flea-bacterial one I get back in 3 weeks. I managed to drive her home and sit with her in the bathroom as I ran the shower hot to fill the room up with steam. Dante started sneezing immediately and all of this gunk just kept flying out of her. After I was satisfied with how well her nose seemed to clean out from the steam -- I held her down and gave her her antibiotic. She didn't like that part at all. BUT she's a lot better today. Moving around a lot more and initiating little things here and there that she did not feel like doing at all yesterday. So, I'm hoping that everything turns out okay. My honey baby =(.

This Friday -- my boyfriend and I finally fucked for the first time. FINALLY. We've been trying for so long to get him to fit inside me and my vagina was always like NO THANK YOU, OKAY, NO, JUST NO. BUT, all of the galaxies in the universe must've been in alignment or something because he managed to glide right in there and, just, YES. A lot of people seem to think that I don't like sex because it's something I don't actively talk about or do unless I'm in a relationship and I'm not really a fan of pleasing myself. But SEX is amazing. I have to be comfortable enough with my partner and their sexual organs before I subconsciously become comfortable enough to be able to let my partner fuck me/me being able to fuck my partner back.

We fucked a lot on Friday. I wasn't keeping count and nor was he. By the end of the night/early, early Saturday morning -- I was so tired and so sore that I couldn't even drive back to the apartment correctly. I drove on the Van Wyck and the Grand Central as though I were drunk. I couldn't even walk around at work on Saturday. It was dreadful. After work we fucked some more. On Sunday, I really couldn't move again. I spent a lot of the day drifting in an out of sleep and wonder trading on pokemon -- although, I should've been studying, haha.

My boyfriend is pretty good at doing whatever I want him to do without any complaints from him. I tell him to fuck me hard, he fucks me hard. As he's fucking my brain out of my skull, I tell him to disregard caution and just break my hips -- and HE DOES SO. AND IT'S AMAZING. I don't even consciously realize that I fuck him back. But I do. I realize it once I lose my rhythm and I'm like AAAAHHHH but it's easy to get back if he isn't too busy doing his own thing instead of trying to match me. Regardless, I have no complaints. He fucks me hard, I simultaneously fuck him back, and everything is great =).

The one thing I am SO PROUD OF, that I was basking in ALL THIS GLORY, was when I blew him. He started, well, it sounded like he was crying and I heard a whole bunch of oh god or oh my god -- I don't know what kind of epiphany he was having but I'm glad my mouth and my tongue could do that =).

I cannot wait until we fuck again.

I found out Mackie died, Christy's Anatolian Shepard. I immediately told Rob. My first inclination was to email Christy and send her my condolences -- but knowing her she'll probably complain about how I'm harassing her to all her friends and never read the email anyway. So, I initially didn't say anything -- until Rob made the move. First, he bought a sympathy card to send to Lynne. Then he found an e-card to email to Christy. Rob and I were talking on AIM and he showed me the e-card and asked for my opinion. I told him it was cute. I really liked the sad music. I then typed my lengthy sympathy paragraph to him on AIM and Rob copied it and pasted it on to the e-card as well as something he wrote and emailed it to Christy. Rob and I have no idea if she even read the thing. I shrug my shoulders at the whole situation. I feel bad for Mackie more so than I do for the family -- probably because I've disconnected myself with that family but I always kept Mackie close to my heart. I missed him every day and wished I could somehow, someway, see him -- even for a few seconds. For those few years that Christy and her family were in my life -- I considered Mackie my dog. He was great. Always adventurous, always causing a ruckus, always eating the food off of my plate -- and he always looked so doofy as he sat there on the couch closest to the front door, panting, his beauty mark on the left side of his dopy expression -- I loved him and I miss him and I just hope it was his time and not anything that suddenly made him go. Here's to you, Mackie =) may you eat all of the universe's food when the universe isn't looking.
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October 2013

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