workaday Thursday

Sep. 21st, 2017 06:01 am
marcicat: (today I eat cake)
[personal profile] marcicat

Back to work! That sure will be something.

I’ve already done a quick check of my work emails — always a toss-up whether that’s a good idea or not. On the negative side, it tends to ramp up my stress about work things at a time when there’s nothing I can do about it. On the positive side, I’ve gotten in trouble at work before for “expressing strong feelings” when reading my emails, so at least this way I won’t have to have A Conversation with my boss about my reactions.

Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.

Night One

Sep. 21st, 2017 03:49 am
iosonochesono: Text icon, Andalite telling Ax that maybe different races can be stronger together. (Animorphs: Prove me Wrong)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
So she didn't wake up at 3:30 as promised and ignored my text asking her if she was ready to switch. So I went upstairs and told her it was time to switch.

It's super annoying she thinks this behavior is okay. But anyway.




ETA: I came down in the morning and she had closed the door where she was and had fallen asleep again!!! She hadn't started the hot breakfast!

I officially called her out on it so if she's still just sleeping all night at this point it's just tough shit for her.

Things

Sep. 21st, 2017 01:17 am
iosonochesono: (MLP: Dash Helpful)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
So, at work, I've decided I'm just going to try and set stricter boundaries with Monique. Part of what we'll be doing (which we should be doing anyway) is stay in a room where the door can lock if we're having a sleeping break. That way clients can't walk in and realize one of us is asleep.

It also means that if I'm awake, Monique will not have cause to turn off her alarm and go back to sleep. She'll have no reason to think I'm doing checks anyway. And that's how it should be. Regardless of if I'm sleeping or working, the point of dividing checks that way is so one person can have downtime. If I'm studying TEFL or nursing, it shouldn't matter.

The other thing I'm thinking about suggesting is that instead of dividing the sleep each night, we instead separate it by day. Monique has already cut Thursdays from her work week, so my thought is I stay awake Sunday and Monday night and she stays awake Tuesday and Wednesday night. Then the other Sara (who works with me Thursdays) and I will switch off - one week I'm awake all night, one week she's awake all night.

That way instead of two severely sleep-deprived people, there is one person who is awake and one person who is resting their entire shift (unless there is an emergency.) Whoever is taking the lead that night is fully rested, and since the resting person will have mostly uninterrupted sleep, they should recover better if they need to get up.




So, I can't remember what happened, but there was some conversation about seeking co-parents so I looked up the website. I thought it was going to be single parents looking for people to team up (e.g. a teacher, a nurse, a firefighter, and a store clerk cooperating together so that they can save money on child-care.)

And I looked up the website and I couldn't find out more without making an account, but it's actually people looking either for free sperm donation, either without parenting rights or with the goal of co-parenting (as in, both parties actively taking part in the child's life in terms of legal, kinship, and fiscal ways.)

That was not what I was expecting! But you know? Actually sort of cool. I'm glad to see the options of how people start and maintain families increasing. Some friends I have can't have kids on their own and I thought co-parenting with them would be cool. Seems like there would be more cooperation and less likeliness of a horrible blowup than in a situation where the parenting is tied to a romantic relationship.

I think the funniest thing is that men on that website are waaaaaaay less creepy/skeevy. Nothing chases away the creepy men like 'co-parent' as part of your search.

(no subject)

Sep. 20th, 2017 06:04 pm
onyxlynx: The words "Onyx" and "Lynx" with x superimposed (Default)
[personal profile] onyxlynx
 L'Shanah Tovah! to those who celebrate!

Requiescat in Pace

Sep. 20th, 2017 01:03 pm
onyxlynx: Some trees and a fountain at a cemetery (A Fine and Private Place)
[personal profile] onyxlynx
All NYTimes obits:

Hippo, Birdie, Two Ewes

Sep. 20th, 2017 07:44 am
onyxlynx: Festive pennants in blue & purple with word "Birthday" centered. (Birthday)
[personal profile] onyxlynx
to [personal profile] serene !  Hoping next year is better.

Adventure Week’s quiet finale

Sep. 20th, 2017 06:13 am
marcicat: (muffin)
[personal profile] marcicat

Time for a quiet recovery day to finish out Adventure Week. (Much needed, since my leg muscles all woke up saying ‘we did a week’s worth of work in the last two days, so don’t expect much till next Monday.’)

Today’s main goal is to get my photos transferred off my phone. That seems manageable, right?

Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.

Nursing Vs. Counseling

Sep. 19th, 2017 11:33 pm
iosonochesono: Rainbow Dash from My Little Pony being sad. (MLP: Dash Sad)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
I think instead I'd rather do nursing and social work, with some counseling training.

I've been reading up on it and apparently a lot of rehabilitation therapies are not seen as particularly scientifically sound.

I'm wondering why, for instance, the facilities in these areas (no specific one) don't focus on anti-opiods such as naltrene over the Twelve-Step program, which have scientifically sound evidence that they are effective against addiction. Apparently the USA is far far behind other developed countries in their approach to addiction.




In learning about all of this, I'm going to try taking Contrave this year and see if it helps me stop binge-eating. Treat my problem like an illness and try to approach it as such.

Lol

Sep. 19th, 2017 07:04 pm
iosonochesono: (Default)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
Isha said Makayla had walked the into Monique snoring because she was so loud.

Okay, THAT doesn't sound like Monique. That might have been me. I know people have told me I snore pretty loudly. (I don't get HOW, since I don't have tonsils or adenoids. Also, I record myself sleeping sometimes - to try to catch me snoring and how bad, since people have woken me up less than an hour after me falling asleep to tell me I was being loud - and it never seems to catch snoring. It's like my brain doesn't do those bad habits when I'm watching myself.)

There's no way that happened recently though cuz we don't go in that room anymore. And well, I don't think I've slept during a shift in weeks. I kept getting more and more anxious about Monique's pattern. It's possible I dozed off once or twice during the time we were in that room.

However: Regardless, I'm now trying to research what legitimate ways there are to stop snoring.

hike achieved!

Sep. 19th, 2017 09:14 pm
marcicat: (badger moon)
[personal profile] marcicat

Spent two excellent days hiking, managed not to hurt myself any more than a bruise where my pack shoulder strap rubs my collarbone. No rain = success at a higher level than anyone expected!

The things I apparently think are most important to do upon the return from said trip:

1. Hang up anything wet; it’s not going in the laundry till tomorrow morning.

2. Retrieve cat. (He is happy at home and happy here, but the transitions are less fun. Luckily it’s not a long trip. He is now resting happily on the sofa on one of his many blankets.)

3. Write a post about it, of course!

Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.

elfs: (Default)
[personal profile] elfs
"Premium Mediocre."

I've been hearing this phrase a lot in the past couple of days. Some dude (okay, it was Venkatesh Rao) posted his rant about premium mediocrity, the way every experience included "just one more thing" that would somehow make it "premium," while the experience itself occurred on a manufactured platform, with manufactured items, while the staff followed manufactured scripts and wore manufactured uniforms.

Rao ends his take on premium mediocre with a startling claim: premium mediocre, he says, is about "a deep and essential kindness." That we who live the premium mediocre life are playing a game where "sometimes you have to buy your own bullshit" as you willy-nilly try new things, listen to new ideas, and embrace new people. It's something you do "in the spirit of learning about your part in the emerging theatre."

I have to call bullshit on this. Recognizing the reality of premium mediocre is something entirely different. Premium mediocre is the outcome of a civilization that delivers everything. I mean, seriously: Every single one of us eats better than Napoleon! Every single one of us has more horsepower idling in our driveways than fucking King George III! Every single one of us has a glass rectangle in our pockets that delivers us the world, keeps us in touch with beloveds in every country and every continent. Every single one of us has access to more music than the fucking Beatles could ever hear.

The premium mediocre experience is a recognition that we have all this. We have luxury beyond our great-grandparents' wildest dreams. Sure, it's not uniformly distributed. It isn't fully-automated queer space communism. But it is crazy luxurious for a lot of us.

There is exactly one feature missing from premium mediocre. Can you guess what it is?

The ones who have to endure premium mediocre can't sneer at others in the same condition. They can't exclude others.

The essential activity of the rich today is the building of walls – walls of concrete, of electronic surveillance, of missile barrages, minefields, frontier controls, and opaque media screens. That's what is missing. Recognizing your state as one of premium mediocrity is recognizing that you're not good enough to get into the rarified air of flight lounges, concierge services at Burning man, and Mar-A-Largo. Some of it is handwringing that you're not Walter White or Scarface, you're not callous enough, and to call it "mediocre" is to recognize that you will always be mired in the tiny little shreds of humanity that bind you together.

Rao's call to kindness is to say that the Clueless and Losers outnumber the Psychopaths, and we may as well enjoy our kindness, because we're never gonna get anywhere else. We're never gonna be able to enjoy the envy of others. Premium mediocre, for all its luxury, is the best you're gonna get.

Birthday greetings and felicitations

Sep. 19th, 2017 09:06 am
onyxlynx: Festive pennants in blue & purple with word "Birthday" centered. (Birthday)
[personal profile] onyxlynx
 to [personal profile] randy_byers !  Wishing you a magnificent day.

UGH

Sep. 19th, 2017 04:56 am
iosonochesono: (Default)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
Due to circumstances at work tonight I was convinced to go in and now my co-worker is sleeping again.

I resent letting my guilt and concern manipulate me that way.
iosonochesono: (HTTYD: Troubled)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
Ana annoys me with how much she believes in conspiracy theories and how right-wing she is, but sometimes she manages to ask things that are eerily on-point with where my emotions are at.

... Granted, because she believes PCOS is a conspiracy to punish women by making them infertile and because she knows I'm in my thirties. But eerily on point with where a lot of my thoughts have been since that woman was telling me how much her life changed after she got pregnant and just generally feeling incredibly stuck and without choices in life.

Conversations I feel like I can't have with anyone. Like, if I have those conversations with anyone, they'll totally freak out. Either because my friends who are women will think I'm thinking seriously about trying, or the men in my life will be worried I'm going to ask them to be a sperm donor.*

Ana doesn't even know about the sexual dysfunction, I don't think. So the question from her is a lot more eery. Like if Alicia had asked, it's like, she knows I have this barrier in my life that sort of makes my life complicated in the family planning/starting aspect.

*I guess I'd be worried about that too. I guess it's not such a far-flung theory that if I ever went that route I'd want it to be someone I knew. But I usually find it's easier to talk to men about S.D. stuff.

OH MY GOD

Sep. 18th, 2017 11:40 pm
iosonochesono: (Default)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
Monique literally lost her shit when she found out I wasn't coming in tonight. I'd gotten permission from Isha around 6pm.

The real reason is that she's pissed off she won't get to sit there turning off her alarm and going back to sleep all night without getting up until 6:40am.

This was it. I decided even if it means sleeping privileges are revoked, I'm going to talk to Isha about how Monique oversleeps during the shift. I can't stand that she has the gall to do 1-2 checks the entire night last night and kept turning off her alarm and now she wants to whine that I'm not coming in again so she can do the same bullshit tonight.

I even pretended to fall asleep last night to see if she would do the checks? And she didn't. I literally saw her still turning off her alarm and going back to sleep. I still had to get up and do the checks because she wouldn't.

That's the only reason why I would want to cut my hours. It's not like I thought it'd be super awesome to make less money. It's because it's causing to much sleep deprivation and resentment of my co-worker.

Work:

Sep. 18th, 2017 06:26 pm
iosonochesono: (Default)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
I asked for tonight off, too.

I've decided when we don't need two staff I'll take 1-3 days off per week to ensure that when I am there, I am able to remain awake.

Like I don't want to rat out Monique because it would cause interpersonal conflict at work (and potentially make them more strictly enforce it being an 'AWAKE' shift whereas they have to date been currently lenient and let us work it among ourselves.) It's a lot easier to offer to divide shifts (like do three days/two days and then switch the next week) or come in less personally.

But it's not fair to basically see someone sleeping next to you all night and know that if you fall asleep that person isn't going to have the checks covered. If I need to be asleep, I won't come in, because I can't trust her to stay awake. I don't want to be liable for dozing off on someone who needs 10-30 minute checks.

Verge

Sep. 18th, 2017 08:19 am
iosonochesono: (Default)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
I am on the verge of having a frank discussion with Monique about how much she sleeps at work.

Tonight she kept turning her alarm off and continuing to sleep all night. She basically got seven hours of sleep. This has not been an unusual turn of events.

We both work 80+ hours/week, we both have dysfunctional home situations, it's not fair for one person to get all the sleep.

Of course, the other thing I've considered is simply taking more time off the night job whenever there are three clients or less. That way, if something happens, at least I'm not liable, whereas if she tells me she's doing checks and then she is simply sleeping the whole night, I am equally liable.

time to hike!

Sep. 18th, 2017 05:56 am
marcicat: (badger travel)
[personal profile] marcicat

This is pretty much how my brain always works when I’m doing something (anything, really, but it’s much more noticeable when it’s something new):

1. “Oh yeah, I got this.”

2. “Definitely don’t have this. What was I thinking?”

3. “This is going to be awesome!”

4. “AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!”

5. repeat, on infinite loop

I mean, the good thing about it is that because it’s so predictable, I can usually work with it and/or let it run in the background, while I do other stuff. Plus the odd numbers feel great.

Onwards with Adventure Week!

Mirrored from The Marci Rating System.

Progress

Sep. 18th, 2017 03:02 am
iosonochesono: (Hebrew: Elephants Don't Dance Ballet)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
My UCSD courses don't start until next week, so right now I'm just working on the TEFL course. I couldn't do it when my co-worker was watching iZombie, but she's currently asleep.

I also filled out a new C1 for my U.K. Passport. I just need to finish putting in my mother's address and her passport information, then ask her to get information that may be relevant for them (her marriage certificate to my father changing her surname, then the divorce paperwork, then the marriage certificate where she took her current husband's surname. It might be none of that is relevant because she probably has to put that information in when renewing her passport... But still.

I deleted POF/Tinder. I've come to the conclusion that men are depressing. Hundreds and hundreds of men 'like' me, in the hopes that they'll hook up, just as they are 'liking' every damn woman on those sites. I'm just going to try to get back to doing classes, going to the gym, etc. I'm not necessarily holding out for a serious relationship only - but I don't believe I'm likely to respect guys when I see evidence of the grazing approach. Like they couldn't care less about compatibility. Forever alone? Whatever. It's better than being depressed by a constant barrage of dudes hoping for a one-night stand.

Thoughts

Sep. 18th, 2017 12:14 am
iosonochesono: (Corpse Bride: Emily Proper)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
With regard to Jordan (as much as I'm trying to just completely mind-wipe myself about his existence), I think what happened with regard to him lying about "not meeting the language qualifications for CSU Fullerton/CSU LB" is that I don't think he applied to them. I think he probably tried to apply to a few UCs - the ones that were prestigious enough to fill the needs of his ego.

But the University of California requires two years of a foreign language. Hence he didn't get in. And then was embarrassed that he didn't apply. Or maybe he had lied to his parents and had told him he didn't get into any of those schools, and then kept that lie for everyone, not realizing what a bad lie that was, because the CSUs are far more numerous and everyone knows the key difference in transferring to a UC or a CSU is whether or not it requires a foreign language.

Anyway, he got into York in England, and that school is highly regarded, so it's not like his GPA wasn't high enough, it would be, as he said, just the language requirements.

(I've also considered that he may have intentionally did what he did to give himself an excuse to go back to Europe to complete his education, as European schools are considered more prestigious. And for all I know, he had a reason to want to go back to England. Be it homesickness, friends, a girl, whatever. But his ego seems enough on its own.)




I want to work on my TEFL course but I can't do it without headphones.

I was also looking at applying to UK Starbucks and working on BACP coursework.

It might make more sense to make an extended visit to my aunt and her husband's place, though, and figure my working situation out. I'd like to try to work in Italy, France, Spain, Germany, and Portugal. But I was thinking I'd like to stop by the UK a while first since technically I'm a citizen. Plus I could then work on counseling and BACP stuff while there. (I'd like to do coursework in those countries too? But only to learn the language.)

It'll probably be a lot easier to find work if already at least on the right continent.
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